This, life I have achieved. Has been fulfilled, I feel lost and alone. This life I am living is because you willed me on for six years before you left... You were too young to disappear that quickly and I was a stupid child growing up, you showed that you loved me for all those years, You were my best friend and enemy, you were my lover and the bearer of my happiness. Sincerely I am alive because of you and all of those who helped me out. I have realized that I cannot go through the world just piggybacking my life. This life of mine has been modeled to follow and now lead. I visited your grave today and It hurt me so much. Can you hear me darling, no lover of mine should of disappeared like that. I regret what has happened and wish I could of made a difference and saved you..
But now my life is going to turn around I have repented and can stop feeling bad about your death.
I am thinking about messaging a certain someone, even though I was told never to contact her again I am wondering how that would go, will she give me a chance and hear me out to retry to get to know me all over again, as the new me?